ICFF Lending Library

Everyone grieves differently, and each person’s struggle to find strength is unique. Yet the loss and devastation can have common elements with those who have gone through it before. We strive to support families by providing access to resources that can help them in their own journeys to healing.

The resources listed here are available for loan from ICFF. Just email us and let us know which one you would like to borrow. If you would prefer to purchase a new copy, Amazon will contribute 10% of the purchase price to support ICFF’s work for any book purchased via the links below. And if there is a book you would like us to add to our library, please send us a message.
 

When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death

By Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown
The authors explain in simple language the feelings people may have regarding the death of a loved one and the ways to honor the memory of someone who has died. (ISBN: 978-0316-10917-8)
Ideal for: Child


What On Earth Do You Do When Someone Dies?

By Trevor Romain
When Trevor Romain’s father died, Trevor didn’t know what to feel, say, or do. Shocked, saddened, and confused, all he could say was … wow. As he started understanding what had happened, he began writing about his experiences and feelings. His new book – simple, insightful, and straight from the heart – is for any child who has lost a loved one or other special person. Trevor talks directly to kids about what death means and how to cope. He asks the kinds of questions kids have about death – Why? How? What next? Is it my fault? (ISBN: 1-57542-055-4)
Ideal for: Child


Daddy’s Promise

By Cindy Klein Cohen, John T. Heiney, and Michael J. Gordon
Daddy’s Promise is about a little boy’s journey of discovery after the death of his father. Jesse is angry and filled with questions. Why did his daddy have to die? What happens when someone dies? Where do they go? Jesse’s questions are answered both by his mother, and in a series of dreams where Jesse visits his father and learns about life, death and life after death.
Daddy’s Promise answers common questions children have about death, as well as suggestions for coping. Concrete, simple explanations are given for what happens when someone dies. During dream-like visits with his father, Jesse learns more about death, what happens when we die and where our spirits go. (ISBN: 0-9656498-0-6)
Ideal for: Child


How it feels when a Parent Dies

By Jill Krementz
18 children from age 7 to 17 speak openly of their experiences and feelings. As they speak we see them in photos with their surviving parent and with other family members, in the midst of their everyday lives. (ISBN: 0-394-51911-6)
Ideal for: Child/Teen


You Are Not Alone: Teens Talk about Life after the Loss of a Parent

By Lynne B. Hughes
Words of reassurance and strategies for coping with the loss of a parent, by the director of the nation’s largest bereavement camp for children.
Loss is one of the most isolating experiences there is, and kids who have lost a parent feel especially different than those around them. Comfort Zone Camp was founded as a safe place for grieving children, and now this very special healing experience can reach an even larger audience of children and the people who care for them. Through frank and accessible testimonials, Lynne Hughes and the kids of CZC share the most difficult parts of their losses and offer their own experiences of what helps, what doesn’t, what “stinks,” and ways to stay connected to their loved ones. (ISBN: 0-439-58590-2)
Ideal for: Child/Teen


Healing Your Grieving Heart for Teens: 100 practical ideas, simple tips for understanding and expressing your grief

By Alan D. Wolfelt
With sensitivity and insight, this series offers suggestions for healing activities that can help survivors learn to express their grief and mourn naturally. Acknowledging that death is a painful, ongoing part of life, they explain how people need to slow down, turn inward, embrace their feelings of loss, and seek and accept support when a loved one dies. Each book, geared for mourning adults, teens, or children, provides ideas and action-oriented tips that teach the basic principles of grief and healing. These ideas and activities are aimed at reducing the confusion, anxiety, and huge personal void so that the living can begin their lives again. Included in the books for teens and kids are age-appropriate activities that teach younger people that their thoughts are not only normal but necessary. (ISBN: 978-1-879651-23-4)
Ideal for: Teen


Surviving the Death of a Sibling: Living through Grief when an Adult Brother or Sister Dies

By T.J. Wray
When T.J. Wray lost her 43-year-old brother, her grief was deep and enduring and, she soon discovered, not fully acknowledged. Despite the longevity of adult sibling relationships, surviving siblings are often made to feel as if their grief is somehow unwarranted. After all, when an adult sibling dies, he or she often leaves behind parents, a spouse, and even children – all of whom suffer a more socially recognized type of loss.
Based on the author’s own experiences, as well as those of many others, Surviving the Death of a Sibling helps adults who have lost a brother or sister to realize that they are not alone in their struggle. Just as important, it teaches them to understand the unique stages of their grieving process, offering practical and prescriptive advice for dealing with each stage. (ISBN: 0-609-80980-6)
Ideal for: Adult/Teen


A Grief Observed

By C.S. Lewis
Written after his wife’s tragic death as a way of surviving the “mad midnight moment,” A Grief Observed is C.S. Lewis’s honest reflection on the fundamental issues of life, death, and faith in the midst of loss. This work contains his concise, genuine reflections on that period: “Nothing will shake a man – or at any rate a man like me – out of his merely verbal thinking and his merely notional beliefs. He has to be knocked silly before he comes to his senses. Only torture will bring out the truth. Only under torture does he discover it himself.” This is a beautiful and unflinchingly honest record of how even a stalwart believer can lose all sense of meaning in the universe, and how he can gradually regain his bearings. (ISBN: 978-0-06-065238-8)
Ideal for: Adult/Teen


Healing Your Grieving Heart: 100 practical ideas, compassionate advice and simple activities to help you through your loss

By Alan D. Wolfelt
With sensitivity and insight, this series offers suggestions for healing activities that can help survivors learn to express their grief and mourn naturally. Acknowledging that death is a painful, ongoing part of life, it explains how people need to slow down, turn inward, embrace their feelings of loss, and seek and accept support when a loved one dies. Each book, geared for mourning adults, teens, or children, provides ideas and action-oriented tips that teach the basic principles of grief and healing. These ideas and activities are aimed at reducing the confusion, anxiety, and huge personal void so that living their lives can begin again. (ISBN: 978-1-879651-25-8)
Ideal for: Adult/Teen


<

Healing Your Grieving Heart After A Military Death: 100 Practical Ideas for Families and Friends

a href=”http://amzn.to/2cm1sML” target=”_blank”>

By Bonnie Carroll and Alan D. Wolfelt
When a loved one is killed in the line of duty, this book affirms that survivors’ grief is shaped by the unique circumstances of the death. Because military deaths are almost always sudden and violent, the traumatic nature of the loss creates a two-part grief—one focused on the manner in which the person died, the other focused on the long-term repercussions of life without this special person. This guide acknowledges the unique mixture of sadness, pride, anger, and blame that often characterizes grief after a military death, including in the event of a military suicide, and offers ideas for constructively expressing thoughts and feelings. Anyone whose life has been touched by a military death will find compassionate understanding and healing guidance in the pages of this handbook. (ISBN: 978-161722234-4)
Ideal for: Adult/Teen


Healing the Adult Sibling’s Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas After You Brother or Sister Dies

By Alan D. Wolfelt
Compassionate and heartfelt, this collection offers 100 practical ideas to help understand and accept the passing of a sibling in order to practice self-healing. The principles of grief and mourning are clearly defined, accompanied by action-oriented tips for embracing bereavement. Whether a sibling has died as a young or older adult or the death was sudden or anticipated, this resource provides a healthy approach to dealing with the aftermath. (ISBN: 978-1-879651-29-6)
Ideal for: Adult


The Mourning Handbook: The Most Comprehensive Resource Offering Practical and Compassionate Advice on Coping with all Aspects of Death and Dying

By Helen Fitzgerald
Even with the help of friends and family, grieving the death of a loved one can be a complex, sometimes overwhelming, process. The Mourning Handbook is written as a companion to those mourners in need of practical and emotional assistance during the trying times before and after the death of a loved one.
Having counseled thousands of people who have experienced loss, Helen Fitzgerald gives special attention to the complex emotions that can accompany especially traumatic situations, such as when a loved one has been murdered, when there have been multiple deaths, when a body has not been recovered, or when the mourner has been the inadvertent cause of death.
Designed to conform to the special needs of the bereaved, The Mourning Handbook is written and organized in an accessible style punctuated by real stories of people who have experienced every kind of loss. With many subchapters and cross references, it can be consulted for a specific problem or read at length. (ISBN: 0-671-86972-8)
Ideal for: Adult


Healing a Spouse’s Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas after your Husband or Wife Dies

By Alan D. Wolfelt
Offers 100 practical, here-and-now suggestions for helping widowers or widows mourn well so they can go on to live well and love well again. Whether your spouse died recently or long ago, you will find comfort and healing in this compassionate book. (ISBN: 978-1-879651-37-1)
Ideal for: Adult


The Depression of Grief: Coping with Your Sadness and Knowing When to Get Help

By Alan D. Wolfelt
Recognizing that depression is a normal and natural component of grief, this compassionate guide helps mourners understand their depression, express it in healing ways, and know when they may be experiencing a more severe or clinical depression that would be eased by professional treatment. It proposes that grieving people do not necessarily need to be diagnosed with depression following the death of a loved one and guides them through exercises to express their depression in healthy ways. In a society where mourning and melancholia are often ignored, this book gives mourners the supported and reassurance necessary to understand and appreciate that their depression is a regular part of the grieving process. (ISBN: 978-161722193-4)
Ideal for: Adult


The Companioning the Grieving Child Curriculum Book: Activities to Help Children and Teens Heal

By Patricia Morrissey
Based on Alan Wolfelt’s six needs of mourning and written to pair with Companioning the Grieving Child, this thorough guide provides hundreds of hands-on activities tailored for grieving children in three age groups: preschool, elementary, and teens. Through the use of readings, games, discussion questions, and arts and crafts, caregivers can help grieving young people acknowledge the reality of the death, embrace the pain of the loss, remember the person who died, develop a new self-identity, search for meaning, and accept support. Sample activities include grief sock puppets, expression bead bracelets, the nurturing game, and writing an autobiographical poem. Activities are presented in an easy-to-follow format, and each has a goal, an objective, a sequential description of the activity, and a list of needed materials. (ISBN: 978-161722185-9)
Ideal for: Adults Supporting Youth


Healing A Teen’s Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas for Families, Friends, and Caregivers

By Alan D. Wolfelt
A compassionate resource for friends, parents, relatives, teachers, volunteers, and caregivers, this series offers suggestions to help the grieving cope with the loss of a loved one. Often people do not know what to say—or what not to say—to someone they know who is mourning; this series teaches that the most important thing a person can do is listen, have compassion, be there for support, and do something helpful. This volume addresses what to expect from grieving young people, and how to provide safe outlets for teens to express emotion. Included in each book are tested, sensitive ideas for “carpe diem” actions that people can take right this minute—while still remaining supportive and honoring the mourner’s loss. (ISBN: 978-1-879651-24-1)
Ideal for: Adults Supporting Youth


Healing a Child’s Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas for Families, Friends, and Caregivers

By Alan D. Wolfelt
A compassionate resource for friends, parents, relatives, teachers, volunteers, and caregivers, this series offers suggestions to help the grieving cope with the loss of a loved one. Often people do not know what to say—or what not to say—to someone they know who is mourning; this series teaches that the most important thing a person can do is listen, have compassion, be there for support, and do something helpful. This volume addresses what to expect from grieving young people, and how to provide safe outlets for children to express emotion. Included in each book are tested, sensitive ideas for “carpe diem” actions that people can take right this minute—while still remaining supportive and honoring the mourner’s loss. (ISBN: 978-1-879651-28-9)
Ideal for: Adults Supporting Youth


35 Ways to Help a Grieving Child

By the Dougy Center, the National Center for Grieving Children and Families
This guidebook presents 35 simple and practical suggestions for supporting a grieving child. Drawn from stories, suggestions and insight shared by children and their family members at The Dougy Center, this book explores behaviors and reactions of children at different ages and maturity levels; outlets for children to safely express their thoughts and feelings; and ways to be supportive during difficult times, such as a memorial service, anniversary or holiday. (ISBN: 1-890534-03-x)
Ideal for: Adults Supporting Youth